By Modupe Ehirim
The talking stage—the phase where two people are getting to know each other before officially dating—can be exciting, fun, and full of possibilities. It’s the time when you both exchange texts all day, share jokes, talk about life, and build an emotional connection. But at what point does the talking stage stop being productive and start wasting your time?
If you’ve been “talking” to someone for months with no clear direction, it might be time to ask: Where is this going?
Signs the Talking Stage is Becoming a Waste of Time
It’s Been Too Long Without Progress: While there’s no set timeline, a talking stage that drags on indefinitely without defining the relationship can be a red flag. If weeks or months go by without clarity, you might be stuck in a loop with no real commitment.
They Keep Avoiding the Relationship Conversation: Do they change the topic when you bring up the “What are we?” question? If someone enjoys your company but isn’t willing to define the relationship, they might just be keeping you around for convenience.
Inconsistency in Communication: One minute they’re all over you, and the next, they disappear for days. If their communication is hot and cold, they might not be taking the connection seriously.
You’re Emotionally Invested, But They’re Not: If you find yourself constantly thinking about them, making efforts, and hoping for a relationship while they remain indifferent, you might be pouring energy into something that won’t grow.
If you’ve communicated your feelings and they still give excuses, vague answers, or refuse to define things, it’s time to step back. A healthy connection should have mutual effort, respect, and clear intentions. If someone truly values you, they won’t leave you in a never-ending talking stage.
The talking stage should be a stepping stone to something meaningful, not a waiting room for commitment that may never come.
Don’t settle for uncertainty—if they aren’t ready to move forward, respect yourself enough to walk away. Your time is valuable, and the right person will make their intentions clear from the start.
For more guidance on when the talking stage becomes time wasting, register for the Get Yourself Ready For Marriage 12 Weeks Group Coaching Program. Check my bio or the comments section for the link
Credit: Facebook/Modupe Ehirim
